DC Black - Sista Circle

Sista Circle

TC, a native Washingtonian, is known for her work in the television, radio and print mediums. She's been featured nationally on Live with Regis and in Essence magazine. TC can be seen hosting shows on DC's Cable TV-13, and she is CEO of her public relations company "TCB Publicity," promoting entertainment events across the DC metro area. She has penned articles for the national Black Elegance magazine and columns for publications in major cities across the country, including Houston, Philadelphia and Washington, DC. She gives back by producing her award-winning website as a vehicle for women's empowerment at www.SistaCircle.com. Send email to tc@sistacircle.com

Where are the gentlemen?

Is chivalry still alive?

He opens the car door for her, but is that all? Is there true chivalry in today’s dating? As a single, working woman for many years, I found myself taking note of dating etiquette, more specifically, chivalry, or the lack thereof.

Yes, lots of these customs may seem outdated to many modern ears, and some may argue that the women’s rights movement ushered out the customs of chivalry altogether. What once was considered standard male behavior towards women, such as opening a car door, has now entered a gray zone and left both genders confused. A man may say, “You don’t need me to open your doors. We’re equals, right?” In my opinion, that is just laziness disguised as semantics, and a quick way for a guy to lose “cool points.” Maybe chivalry isn’t dead, but it seems to be on life support. So I’m here to say that no woman, however “independent,” wouldn't appreciate my list of elementary basics.

· Boys should open doors for girls. Yes, she has two hands, and she may even carry the idea that you ‘re patronizing her. But as long as you’re not obviously only using this as an opportunity to get her phone number, address and all imagined benefits, there shouldn’t be a problem. Also, the girl should politely thank the boy. See how simple this can be?

· Boys should give up their seats on buses and Metro rails when all seats are taken and a girl is forced to stand. He should also offer to help her with her packages, stroller, etc. By the way, the same principle applies to the elderly and the sickly who are standing, no matter your, or their gender.

· If a boy asks a girl out, he pays. This is just the polite thing to do. If the girl has done the asking, then the responsibility of paying is hers.

· Walk her to her car. One of my biggest pet peeves are men who don’t comply to this one, because this is beyond chivalry, it’s about being security conscious and mindful of her safety.

Being chivalrous is not really a lost art, just misplaced. We have it in us, but tend to make excuses for not acting. After all, what it all boils down to is being nice and courteous to someone. We’d like that kind of treatment, so why can’t we give it as well?

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